Monday, September 20, 2010

Dancing with the Stars Season 12 Premiere (Aired 9-20-10)

Initial Attractions: Shirtless Men (Maksim), Shiny things, Tom Bergeron’s hilariousness, and absence of Samantha Harris (YES!)

Audrina Patridge: She talks just as fake in the studio (I'm assuming it's because she knows she’s on camera) as she does on her show. I’ve never understood the appeal of The Hills the girls just seem to talk incessantly about nothing. Funnily enough, she is a native of my hometown and current residence; Yorba Linda (Land of the Stuck-Up Bitches) which is known for its expensive homes. Her dancing was a bit herky-jerky and lacking fluidity. But you could tell she was having fun and she did exude a lot of confidence. When she spoke to Brooke she seemed more real and down to earth, hopefully she keeps learning how to speak like a human.
My score: 7

Brandy: She’s just so cute and sweet, but I think she is going to get distracted by Maksim’s sexiness. Her promo picture scared me because she looks so rigid and timid. She was lacking in her footwork technique, it looked to me like she was walking. She looked like a beautiful Amazon Barbie Doll. Snore; no pizazz, but I will root for her to keep Maks on the show so I can enjoy his beautifulness.  
My score: 7

Bristol Palin: She needs to loose her baby fat! She is cute and she seems like a normal, down-to-earth girl, but I don’t understand how she is a “star”? She is very stiff and timid in her movements, and seems like she has no clue what she is doing. I commend her for keeping a smile on her face, but I think I saw her channeling Kate Gosselin with her quintessential poses.   
My score: 5

David Hasselhoff: On no, I hope he is trying to be funny, because otherwise I was laughing AT him. I wanted to barf at the sight of his gyrating hips. Black is his friend because it is slimming and keeps those jiggly bits of his intact. He looked like he was counting while dancing, what was up with all that mouth action? The routine had a lot of gimmicks that were distracting audience from his lack of technique. He was so out of breath by the end and he’s not even that old or overweight. Kym needs to whip him into shape!
My score: 5

Florence Henderson: She’s 76? Wtf? She looks damn good for her age. I like how feisty she is for an older lady. I was surprised by what a potty mouth she was; OMG! She looked a bit confused during her routine and was looking down at her feet and making weird faces… At least she’s not carrying any weight on her, which will be a huge advantage. She was a bit rigid, but that is expected for her age. I LMAO when she made Len blush!  
My score: 6

Jennifer Grey: I knew that there would be a Patrick Swayze references. Her emotionality was so raw and honest, I really hoped she could hold it together. Her passion is based off of something so real and fresh and it showed. I know her name is Grey but please put her in a brighter color, she dances like a beautiful bird, but she looked drab in that color. She showed such grace, beauty, and peacefulness in her body. She definitely has good technique. I just worry whether Derek can handle her maturity and seriousness as a partner. She is my season favorite and who I am rooting to win it!
My score: 8

Kurt Warner: He had a few stumbles but he was very light on his feet and graceful for such a tall guy. He seemed joyful and looked very emotionally connected to Anna. I think having his family be so enthusiastic to have him compete made him committed. The judges underscored him.
My score: 8

Kyle Massey: He’s charismatic because he’s so sweet, goofy, and nearly giddy about the competition. I think he over-danced a bit which caused his movements to lack control because it was a bit overdone. He brought so much fun, young energy that was exciting to watch!
My score: 8

Margaret Cho: I couldn’t help but root for her because she was so honest and trying so hard. You could see her anger and determination on her face in the start but it kinda scared me. I totally LOL-ed when she got lost in her cape. I figured she was so covered up, because of her excessive tattoos, but that outfit was ridiculous and hideous. And then Louis dropped her? I didn’t get that it was supposed to be comedic; it looked like it was an accident. I agree with the judges that she didn’t need to be so over the top. The whole thing made me uncomfortable.
My score: 6

Michael Bolton: He seems like a whiner, I doubt his potential. He had no strength in his free arm. I don’t think he was very connected to the music or to Chelsie. It was okay, kinda blah. I think he should stick to singing since he’s got a tour going on. I love how he gestured using a rotary phone when he was “fake voting”.  
My score: 6

Mike Sorrentino: YUCK! He’s just a set of abs and a big mouth. He sounds like he is talking out of his ass, what a goon! I was expecting a train wreck, but it was a valid effort for only 5 days worth of practice. Nice cheesy disco moves buddy! I could tell Karina danced around him like she usually does when she has a weak partner. Too many “tricks,” not enough dancing.
My score: 6

Rick Fox: My first thought was that he looked like Prince Charming. He was graceful like a swan (especially in that cream color he was wearing). He had a few stumbles (more like stutters) and he was a bit too soft and girlie with his arms, but I see a lot of potential.
My score: 7

Surprise: Kyle Massey, I thought he was just gonna be a silly chubby kid who had no clue what he was doing, but he was so committed and the most entertaining.

Disappointments: I thought Michael Bolton would be charming and graceful but he was whiny and slouchy. I also thought that Margaret’s comedic craziness was inappropriate and stupid.  

Watch-ability:  I really didn’t think that this cast would be this entertaining but it was a very varied bunch. I LMAO (and not just at Tom Bergeron’s jokes) and I got teary eyed, I loved it!

Who’s getting my votes? Rick Fox: 1, Florence Henderson: 1, Kurt Warner: 2, Kyle Massey: 3, and Jennifer Grey: 5.  

Who should be eliminated? The Situation was barf-able but the one with the least potential is probably Bristol.

Sources: All photos are from ABC.com

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